So I get to camp Monday and I was just very to myself and not wanting to do anything. And throughout that whole day I would start tearing up and getting emotional because I was still feeling the pain God feels towards His children. It was hard for me to enjoy my camp time when I was feeling the pain of so many around me. But throughout camp I started realizing that its a gift that I can feel Gods pain because its such an incredible way to reach out to people and love on them in the ways they need it.
Ok, I have another one. So these past few months I had been struggling with feeling Gods love and mercy. I knew with ALL my heart that I wanted to pursue Him and desire Him, but it seemed that every time I prayed or worshipped Him I couldn't get anything out of it, so when camp came around I was at the point of wanting to just give up. I knew I couldn't meet all the standards of being a Christian, I felt that I was below all that and too unworthy. So faith night came around and we campers had the opportunity to get our feet washed and right when I heard that I had this shaky, uneasy feeling inside of me that stiffened my whole body. All night I was walking around all stiff and shaky. I had never experienced it before. All my emotions just went on pause and I couldn't cry or feel hurt or happiness or anything. Quite frankly it scared me. And every time I walked past the area where they were washing feet I got bad anxiety. I was pacing around trying to get up the nerve or even get the desire to talk to someone about it, I finally got the opportunity to talk to one of the counselors and by the point I started bawling and had no idea what to do with myself. I come up to him completely drained and scatter brained. And it came to conclusion that I had felt so unworthy and below the Christian lifestyle that I felt it would be wrong for me to get my feet washed. He explained to me my gifts and how God wants to use me with them first of all. And second, how NO ONE there deserved to get their feet washed, and we were all so unworthy of it but that’s the beauty in God; he WANTS to do that because he loves us way too much to not want to serve us. And thirdly, how he feels that the biggest and only standard that is important for us as Christians to meet is the desire to want God which I had, and that changed the way I looked at things. So, he brought me back and he personally washed my feet and prayed over me. The whole rest of the week and still up to this point I feel completely at peace with life and who God is. As he was praying for me that night I just sat there in peace and comfort. God is so good and the way he used the counselors this week was incredible."